Navigating intimacy while managing an STI can feel like a scary or even isolating topic for most women, but you are not alone. It is important to create a safe space that encourages, empowers, and embraces these conversations to help us thrive regardless of our STI status.
Clearing the Myths of STIs:
Firstly, let’s clear up some myths and misconceptions about STIs. Contrary to popular belief, STIs don’t discriminate based on gender, age, or relationship status. STIs are infections contracted via sexual contact, including vaginal, anal, or oral sex, among other forms of sexual contact. Anybody who is sexually active can be affected by bacteria, viruses, or parasites that cause them. Although STIs are incredibly common, they are often linked with the idea that STIs are a result of “promiscuity”. Having an STI can come with its fair share of emotions – fear, shame, uncertainty. Yet, living with an STI does not define you; it does not diminish your worth as a person or as a partner.
STIs such as Herpes are incredibly common, and because they don't always have obvious symptoms, they frequently go undiagnosed. The World Health Organization (WHO) reports that approximately 3.7 billion people under 50, or 67% of the global population, are infected with HSV-1, the primary cause of oral herpes. Additionally, only 10–20% of the 417 million people aged 15–49 — or 11% of the population — are being diagnosed with HSV-2, which is frequently associated with genital herpes. Due to women's heightened susceptibility through sexual contact, HSV-2 is more prevalent in women, with roughly twice as many instances recorded vs. males, further emphasizing how STIs are underestimated.
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Take the time to educate yourself about your STI – what it is, how it’s transmitted, and how to manage its symptoms. Not only does being informed help you take charge of your sexual health but it also empowers you to advocate for yourself in intimate situations.
Promoting Open Dialogue:
Navigating intimacy involves open communication. Whether it’s with a new partner or a long-term one, it is important to have honest discussions with your sexual partners about STI status, safe sex practices, and boundaries to build trust and intimacy, while reducing the risk of transmission. Here are a few ways to start the conversation with your partner:
Sharing your own experiences about sexual health check-ups can also help encourage open communication and comfort your partner that you are asking out of care for both of your well-being. If your partner refuses to share their results or dismisses your concerns, it could be a red flag, and in such cases, you should prioritize your well-being.
"Having an STI doesn’t have to define us or limit our capacity for intimacy and pleasure. "
We all have the power to change the conversation surrounding STIs. Navigating intimacy with an STI is a journey and it is fine to take it one step at a time. Try taking it slow with a partner to make sure trust is built first, ensuring they accept your status and support your journey; sex should be fun and safe—peer pressuring or coercion is not okay. Explore what feels good for you, communicate your desires with your partner(s), and prioritize connection and pleasure in your sexual experiences. By embracing your power and advocating for your sexual health, we can create a more inclusive and empowered society for all.
